Ready to Explore Therapy?
So you decided to explore therapy. Maybe life is getting a bit rougher around the edges than expected. Maybe your relationship looks a lot different than it did a couple of years ago. Maybe you forgot who you are. Maybe you have no f*cking idea where you are going.
Whatever the reason, I am so glad you are considering professional help. Seeking help takes courage. It takes vulnerability to recognize something within you needs to be tended to. So let's jump in and explore where to start and how to find the right therapist for you.
As a licensed therapist and client, I have seen and experienced A LOT around this topic. Here is my guidance. I hope it helps.
I encourage you to approach this list with a gentle, curious, and accepting heart. Remember, it's okay to be exactly where YOU are.
1. You must first determine WHY you need therapy. Without your WHY, you have no goal. Some guiding questions: What happened and how are you handling it? What have you been holding on to and how are you handling it?
2. Identify what you hope to accomplish in therapy. Do you want to learn ways to cope with stress and anxiety? Would you like to be more mindful? Do you want to be more patient with your partner? Be honest with yourself.
3. Identify any spiritual/religious needs. Would you feel OK with a therapist that is not religious, but can support your journey, or would you feel more comfortable with a therapist that shares the same spiritual or religious beliefs? Determine how important it is to YOU to have your religion prioritized (or not) in therapy.
4. Identify any cultural needs. Would you feel more comfortable with a therapist who is also part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community? Does the race/ethnicity/gender/sex/disability of the therapist matter to you? Why?
5. Are you ready to make some changes? Without willingness and capacity, you will not see any change. In order for us to heal in our journeys, we must accept, adapt, or remove SOMETHING. This might involve accepting a difficult situation, adapting our coping mechanisms, or removing ourselves from a toxic relationship.
6. What is your budget for therapy? This is a big one, so I broke it down a little here:
a. It is generally recommended to seek therapy on a weekly basis. I recommend determining your desired per-session cost and factoring that into your monthly budget. According to the American Psychological Association, most humans have on average 15 to 20 sessions, with some going longer to maintain symptom remission. Longer therapy is required for humans experiencing chronic problems, personality difficulties, or co-occurring conditions.
b. Therapy can be expensive. As therapists, our session costs are often determined by our educational and certification levels. Low cost alternatives include Open Path Collective and BetterHelp. I have worked for both companies. While the set up is AMAZING for clients (affordability and accessibility), it unfortunately wasn't something I could sustain long term and take care of my family.
7. Are you open to telehealth (virtual or online sessions), or do you prefer seeing your therapist in person? How important to you is it to have only in person sessions versus online sessions?
Recommended resources to help fuel your search:
Psychology Today is a comprehensive directory of therapists with detailed profiles.
Therapy for Black Girls is a platform dedicated to connecting Black women and girls with culturally competent therapists.
OutCare is a resource for finding 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming healthcare providers, including therapists.
This decision is a big one. You deserve to have a therapist that meets your needs.
Take Care!
Eutoka